Thoughts From a Random Mind

HUMBLE PIE NEVER TASTES GOOD      

              Eating humble pie is good for the soul, but it rarely tastes good going down. I lost my temper out of frustration with a situation that involved one of the Leads that I didn’t appreciate the other day at work. The tension had been building within me for some time. I felt as though I was being circumvented to expedite the process. I took it personal. I finally felt I had to say something. As is with my history, I occasionally overreact to a situation and while I no longer say things I end up regretting in the end, I still cause an escalation of emotion that doesn’t need to take place. I said what I felt I needed to say, tensions were high, we left things fractured and I went back to my workstation. Now I’m 6’5” and around 340 lbs. That can appear intimidating to some I suppose, especially when I’m standing and the other person is sitting. I went over the whole thing in my mind once it was over and it was then, thankfully, that the Holy Spirit began to do his work. I realized at that time that I had overreacted to a situation that was innocently done as a means of accomplishing a responsibility she had to take care of every day. It wasn’t personal but I felt I made it personal. I wasn’t yelling, but I have a naturally loud voice, so sometimes it comes across as yelling. (You should hear me sneeze. Yikes!) After the Spirit had done his work in my heart I knew I owed my co-worker an apology. I went and sat down next to her rather than stand and apologized. This was my problem and not hers, I said. I told her I overreacted and should not have done that. I told her I knew she was just doing her job. I explained that I was just frustrated because I felt like I was being circumvented, but that was my problem and I made it hers as well. I told her I had no right to do that. I told her she was a very good worker and I respect the job she does. I told her I had no right to go off like that and said I was very sorry. I told her she wasn’t doing anything wrong and that she could take whatever items she needed to do her job from now on with no interference from me.  I ended by shaking her hand saying I didn’t want any animosity between us. She agreed, accepted my apology and we left on a positive note.                  
          It wasn’t hard to apologize. I’ve overreacted so many times in my life that I’ve become an expert at apologizing. That’s sad, but I’m getting better. With each situation more time passes before the next one takes place. I used to allow myself to overreact a lot in the past. I’d like to think I’ve grown in the Lord and matured some thru the years. I wrote this down because I felt it was an object lesson in self-control, which is a gift of the Spirit. I still have some work to do, but a crisis of emotion and hurt feelings has been averted and that is always a good thing. May God help me to keep my actions and reactions in check and see things as he sees them. This whole event and its eventual outcome in no way makes me a Super Christian … Just makes me somewhat obedient, at least in the end.                 
          We all have flare ups of emotion that we regret from time to time. It’s not the unforgivable sin, but we must look ourselves in the mirror and ask ourselves was it necessary and was it worth it. I think if you’re honest with yourself you know in your heart that it’s not how Christ would have handled it. Check your pride at the door and be quick to make amends and then move on. God loves you no matter what and forgives when forgiveness is sought. Our past mistakes do not define us. Our spiritual growth does.  rlkeller